The Change

Ok so I am going to try this blogger thing again and this time try to make the commitment to the blogger credo that I put a new posting every 2 or 3 days. It's just that I think my style is either schmaltsy or plain and my everyday life dull or boring or just painful. I have been wrestling with the demon depression. It usually hits me at night on the drive home. Too often I think on the difficulties of life as a broke middle aged overweight gay man in St. Louis. Mostly I reflect on the changes of the quality of life for queer folk in the U.S over the past 30 years. It is really cool how we have evolved from referring to ourselves as the lifetstyle( circa late 70's) to the community (late 80's ) to family (mid 90's). Now we are demanding that our relationships and families be recognized legally in the social mainstream of America. I have to admit that while I am excited by this new frontier, I can only cherish it with a bittersweet aftertaste. When I think of what is was to be young and gay and out in 1979. To think of how daring it was to expose this secret to your family and friends. What a risk there was in being disowned by family or being shunned by straight friends and the likelihood of being fired from an employer ,well I guess it was a good thing that I was just too dumb to know better.